Facing Madness.

"It is better to face madness with a plan than to sit still and let it take you in pieces."

--Josh Malerman, Bird Box

This quotation from an excellent novel caught my attention. Do I sit still? Do I have a plan? How many pieces of me has madness taken already?

I think madness stole a lot of joy and darkened my memory. This happened especially when I was a child or teen and knew nothing about what I was facing (or not facing). I sat still, listening to showtunes on repeat, hoping the feelings that shook me violently would eventually go away.

Of course, they didn't. They haven't--not for any major length of time.

How does one face madness? And with what? Long ago on my other blog, I wrote a post about "Tools from Father Christmas." I like the symbolism.

And the plan? My a.m./p.m. pill box is a simple planning tool. I plan to take my medication, day and night. I plan to stay close to and open with The Council (Josh, Mom, Bruce), avoiding isolation (which can lead to dangerous thoughts). I plan on making pen and paper ever-present, for more planning or just relief and contentment. I have books, always nearby, for the same reasons. I plan to use beauty to set traps for madness; it usually weakens quickly if I deal with it directly. I plan to check my worst thoughts against someone else's reality, gaining perspective. 

I tend to look away at scary moments. I have to make eye contact with what is trying to destroy me.