Tools and Strategies.

My terms don't necessarily match the popular or even correct definitions, but the terms helps me navigate the world inside and outside my head.

• Tools: something I find or fashion to deal with certain symptoms. It needs to be deliberate, and others should know about it. Thinking of it relaxes me.
• Crutches: something that temporarily holds me up in chaos. It may be somewhat secret. Thinking about it may makes me feel both thrilled and uncomfortable. This could also be an old habit that is no longer useful or an extreme version of a tool.
• Strategies: actions that I put in place to help me with mood swings, panic, and such. Not everyone will necessarily understand the strategy, but it is healthy for me.
• Mechanisms: automatic and often unhealthy. I probably don't want to talk about them. I don't like the use of mechanism as a positive. It's a thoughtless reflex. But I do like for strategies to become consistent, reliable, and safe as mechanisms sometimes appear to be.

Examples

Tools

• Pen and paper. I think everyone knows what powerful tools those are for me. A gift of pen or paper is a gift to my mental health. Having them around me makes me feel calm.
• Medication. Some aspects of taking medication are a major bummer, but I know it helps me and probably keeps me alive. People close to me know about it, and I let them know that I'm still compliant.
• Music. It helps me get ready, and it helps me while I'm driving. Right now, I'm listening to Michael Ball in the car, especially "Lift the Wings" and "Tell Me on a Sunday."

Crutches

• The Internet. It an be a great tool, but often, I do too much window shopping, clicking around on Wikipedia or IMDB, or watching funny videos. It takes up time and metaphorical bandwidth. 
• Soda. I love it and don't want to give it up though I have for short periods of time. Right now, I'm trying for moderation. I love the feel of the cold aluminum and the crack of opening the can...I could drink soda all day (and I often have).

Strategies

• Reading. If I'm not reading, I'm not okay. That's a cycle. I need to be deeply into books. They refocus my brain and give me a break from my symptoms.
• Putting on makeup. If I'm not wearing any or much makeup, that's a bad sign. I like to play with colors and finishes. It's a healthy sensory distraction. 
• Drinking water. I love not having to worry about drinking too much water. I get dehydrated easily, mostly because of lithium. But I can chug water and know that it's good for my body and mind.
• Writing. The more forms of writing are the better. My journal is first, and it covers ideas, blog post material, to-do lists, and more. Next is the blog. The blogs. Writing quiets my mind, and with the blogs, I have a chance to connect with others in a controlled manner. 

Mechanisms

• Shopping. Sometimes, I'm in great control, seeking and finding a special object or some basic tees. My fingers twitch now, probably because of some medication, and they sometimes place an order when I'm still pondering. That works pretty well as a metaphor too. I keep track of everything I buy so that I can appreciate and use it and take notice if I'm being indiscriminate. 
• Excessive cleaning. This is good is some ways, but it's a clear sign of mania and often anger. I clean doors and the inside of the trashcan. I can't stop until I'm completely exhausted
• Sleeping too much. Some days, sleep is all I want. I can fall asleep anywhere. Some days, my brain feels burned, and sleep is like water.

What terms help you understand your actions and experience?

Sensory Distractions.

Two nights ago, I broke down. Oliver challenged me beyond my coping ability, and I started to cry and think dark thoughts about myself. Perhaps the scariest part was that the dark thoughts weren't scary--they were soothing. Josh got home from an errand, and I told him I might need to go to a hospital. Bruce was on standby too. Josh found information for the local crisis center.

Hoping to get stable on my own, I decided to try sensory distraction. Back rubs or tickles from Josh almost always help me, so I experimented. Josh had brought home a root beer, so I drank that while taking a bath with Epsom salts. Then, I read poems aloud. I didn't exactly feel better, but I felt sane. Bruce also wrote me an E-mail that reminded me that in many ways, I am who I want to be.

The next day, I kept up the sensory distraction. I saw my therapist and talked about my word of the year. I got a cherry Sprite from Sonic. I was driving a lot, so when I had a one-hour gap before I could pick up Josh, I stopped at Michaels. I pulled in the colors to paint my darkened mind. I looked at planner stickers and pretty boxes. The night was too cold for walking, so Bruce and I went to Barnes. I spent a long time in the journals and in the children's area. I liked that Barnes had a shelf just for Newbery Award winners. I flipped through Seventeen to look at articles on makeup. I looked at Victoria magazine (which I couldn't reach. Luckily, Bruce is 6 ft. tall). I sort of bathed in comforts and in reminders of my self.

I have to make good choices for my well-being. I need ways to combat the disease when it reaches to choke me. Bits of strength can change everything.