The Life I've Made.

I have made a life in which books are valuable. Oliver sees Josh and I reading every day. Josh and I respect each other's need to read, and we encourage each other though our tastes are different.

Writing is also valuable. If one of us needs to write something, everything else is immediately on hold. I have journals and notepads everywhere. Pens are plentiful and easy to find. Having the tools at hand is useful and inspiring.

I've made theatre a big part of my life through season tickets, single tickets and showtunes. I know I expand when I'm in the audience, taking in all that sound and color. And Bruce and I bond over each show.

I've made a life in which two gentle, kind men give me a great deal of love and attention. I know they will watch over me. I hope that I enrich their lives in return.

I've made a life in which fantasy--fairies, mermaids, fairy tales--has an important place. My illustrated books, our movies, and our decor all show that. They are like a map back to myself. Josh has always supported that.

I've also made a life in which it's okay to be sick--at least, I've encouraged that in small ways through books I've read and conversations I have. I always tell someone what is going on with me. All those close to me have accepted my illness.

As much as seems possible right now, I've made a quiet, safe, rich environment and life. I'll think about what else I can do. 

Ways to Invest in the Soul.

This can include prayer, religious reading and study, or organized worship. Even reading an unfamiliar sacred text can be edifying or soul-lifting.

Music is a great way to invest. Listen to what you love, but also try something new. See what music carries your soul around like a baby, what music makes you determined to be a better person, and what music makes you grieve or long for another person--a friend of some kind.

Theatre can be music plus the visual. I feel fulfilled, excited, and positively overwhelmed in a huge theatre during a show.

Reading in general is another way to invest. Though it's also an escape, reading can sharpen the mind, add color to the imagination, and provide company when one is or feels alone.

Sometimes, the perfect movie for the circumstances is right on your shelf. The beauty of a movie can stay with me  and enrich me.

Arts and crafts are also brilliant ways to invest. I don't do much of this, but my mother does, and I can tell it helps her.

How do you invest in your soul?

What Opens Me to the World.

Books do. I go to another world, but it sometimes makes my old world seem...better than it was somehow. But a book will often fill me with questions and ideas, and typically, I can't find someone with whom to share those questions and ideas. That's another way of opening to the world--talking when it's risky.

Shows do it. I think about the lives of these touring actors. I speculate about someone other than myself. And shows me give me new ideas about the world and new ways to interact with it. If people can be so talented...what's their story? What do they do every day to improve? How does this affect the rest of the family? These talented people are gifts.

Music does this because I can pack an experience or problem into a song, and it's contained, though precariously. Music is so eclectic, so I can always find something I need. The memories or problems stay in the song until I'm ready for them.

What Do I Avoid? Does It Deform Me?

These are questions from Natalie Goldberg.

I used to avoid showtunes because I didn't want overwhelming feelings. I do think I missed it. Now, I listen to showtunes every day. I think they are good for me and for my family. Avoid them meant depriving myself of something essential. I missed out on that joy. But now theatre and showtunes are priorities for me.

I avoid laundry. So it gets bigger and more overwhelming. No time seems right for it. It causes stress and clutter. Today, I asked Josh for two hours when he gets home, so I can hit the laundry hard.

What else? I avoid some books I want to read. Usually, this is because the books seem intimidating. But I need to give my brain a workout sometimes. And I don't have to understand everything.

I have avoided watching movies alone. I deprived me of movies that didn't interest Josh. But recently, I watched a movie every evening for a week! It felt great. Now, I know I can just go on Amazon  and watch something if it grabs my attention. I don't have to rely on someone else.