I'm thinking about triggers. At work last semester, a speaker came and began his talk with trigger warnings, letting us all know that he'd be addressing difficult topics that might be too painful. I'd like to see those on books and movies.
Triggers don't always make sense, they give the illness power. I don't think the brume ever goes away, but a trigger can leave the door wide open. I've written about triggers before, so I'm going to try to continue thinking about what helps. May symptoms can build on themselves and push me beyond self-awareness. This is about what helps, what makes some differences and at least stops the towers and walls that bipolar disorder is building.
What Helps
Lying in a dark room alone
Swimming (less so now than in the summer and fall)
Warm bath with cold water
Cool water on my face, arms, back
Shock of ice on the back of my neck or my face
Meaningful exchanges with students
Some kind of writing
Someone's holding the back of my head
Glitter
Water-related photos (as Pinterest can confirm)
Recognition and reinforcement of personal traits I like (BSD strips identity. Other people may not see the change, but the feeling remains).
E-mails from someone I know!
Firm hugs or gathering up
Napping
Therapy appointments
Mermaids!
Xanax (I don't want to have to take it, but it does work rapidly when I need it)
Water play with Oliver
Driving alone and dreaming through the music. I've also done this by pacing incessantly.
Sunlight
Sitting on the balcony
Sonic cherry Sprite and ice water
Shirley Temples
Musicals!
Course planning
Blogging
Aquariums
Book discussions
Consistency
Reading poetry aloud to myself
Smelling cinnamon
Whatever comfort food I'm paying attention to at the time
Drinking water
Dr. Pepper (It's nothing my body needs, but my brain is so focused on the flavor that I often calm down for a while)
More happens, and more will surface. I hope I will think to consult this list next time I feel something coming on.
