I think I've always censored myself to some degree. I guess everyone does. When I was a child, I periodically had bizarre, confessional sessions in which I would dredge up every flaw, every sin, every unkind thought. I lived wrapped tightly in guilt, but after those sessions, I'd feel light and clean for a while. I thought about my actions, knowing I would eventually reveal the bad ones. So I often stopped myself from taking candy from the pantry without permission.
Mental illness seems to demand major self-censorship. I don't tell people about every hallucination--some are not interesting; some are frightening. I don't talk about suicidal ideation--why worry others? I don't share my intense connections with and reflections on music or movies.
I don't want to bore, scare, or offend anyone. So I try to keep it down, keep it clean, and make it funny or intriguing. I don't know how well I do with that.
