Since I began taking lithium, I have gained about 60 pounds. I've not been able to lose more than 10 pounds. I weigh well over what I weighed at full-term pregnancy. This is mortifying. I've never had significant trouble with my weight.
My body is different. I'm soft where I used to be lean. I have angry new stretch marks. Often, I feel fairly at peace with my body. I've even enjoyed buying some new clothes for my new shape. But sometimes, I feel ashamed. I used to be proud of my flat stomach. It's unrecognizable now. Two people have asked if I were pregnant.
Other changes have come with my meds. I tremble. I can't handle any major cold or hot temperatures. My appetite is unpredictable--sometimes I can't eat at all--and some familiar tastes have become too intense for me. I often throw up at night. One of the major changes is extreme thirst. For years now, I've needed several liters of water a day. If I don't have water with me, I feel panicked.
But with all this, I know that my medications help keep me sane and probably help keep me alive. So I guess I'll make a daily choice to risk my physical health to save my mental health. Still, I'm going to work harder to stay physically healthy.
No comments:
Post a Comment