Saturday, December 15, 2018

Mental Health Gratitude.

Mental illness is miserable. But I do find reasons to be grateful.

I'm grateful
  • for my diagnoses. They were (and are) scary, but they shed some light on some frightening darkness. I have a clue now about what I'm facing.
  • for having a way to explain myself to others. Before my diagnoses, I had no defense against encouragement to pretend I was fine or to get over myself. Now, I have terms. I have documentation. I can teach or point others to more information.
  • for unexpected support. I decided to make this blog open after I sent a letter to family. I have not had a single unkind or inappropriate response.
  • that I can understand some relatives a little more (bipolar disorder runs wild in my family), and see what we share.
  • that though our disorders may be different, I am sometimes uniquely able to empathize with Oliver.
  • that medication is available to help me, and I have a psychiatrist who is willing to change and tweak my medication to, as he says, stabilize me.
  • that I've had two great therapists who somehow seem to bring out the best of my personality. The sessions are really story-based. I tell a story from my life (a trauma, usually, but sometimes something hilarious that happened in between and even during tragic events), and she asks questions that take us somewhere.
  • that after a lot of effort, I've gotten assistance, and I don't have to work out in the world. I believe that a job would be dangerous for me.
  • that my close family and friends believe me and take me seriously. 
  • that Mom, Josh, and Bruce have all read books about bipolar disorder to better understand and love me.
  • for my new, fledgling spirit of forgiveness for myself. Most of my life, I've done my best. 

1 comment:

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