3-5 Things.

 "The world, she knew in her madness, was littered with shiny bits and precious pieces...She pressed, reached, picked, and gathered."

~Kelly Barnhill, The Girl Who Drank the Moon 143

Josh and I have each struggled with depression since we were teenagers if not before that. I've been having a good month with no depressed days so far. Josh has been having a harder time. We've been trying to get more time together and more rest. We took a week-long break from news and social media. And I suggested that we start telling each other about good little things about each day. I said I'd tell five and he could tell three. We've been doing that every day (and sometimes the next morning). 

At a time when I was rather insane (likely a manic period) many years ago, I started my blog Sparkle Scribbles to force myself to notice the good in each day. This had a major impact on me, so I wanted to share that with Josh. I don't know if it's helped him, but I know it's been good for me. I make a space for the list in my journal each day. It's one more little light against the dark.

Taking Steps.

Getting groceries is complicated. 

Most of the time, Josh and I go to the grocery store together on Wednesday mornings after we take Oliver to school and before Josh goes to work. Occasionally, this doesn't work out, and I get groceries by myself. 

Getting groceries alone a few weeks ago made me notice how much I need to divide tasks into steps. Grocery shopping requires six steps:

1. Shopping
2. Getting everything on the belt
3. Paying
4. Loading groceries into car
5. Bringing groceries inside
6. Putting away groceries

I have to think about each step and mentally check them off. I have to be deliberate in my thinking and action, especially if the task has a social element.

When I taught college English, I made massive to-do lists, breaking down my work:

• Make test
• Make answer sheet
• Copy tests
• Make test key

I couldn't just think or write Get test ready. 

This may seem fastidious, but it's a great way to get through tasks particularly if you are overwhelmed or dealing with anxiety or depression. Most days, I think through steps with something as simple as a shower:

• Face wash
• Shampoo
• Razor 
• Body wash

I also have the get-ready steps of brushing my teeth, drying off, getting dressed, and brushing my hair. When I wear makeup, I think through those steps too:

• Powder foundation
• Eye shadow
• Eyeliner
• Mascara
• Lipstick/balm/gloss

If I'm really ambitious, I may start with face primer and eye shadow primer and add highlighter or blush. These steps are a lot more enjoyable that shower steps or grocery shopping steps. But I did have to stop using liquid foundation and finishing powder because that was too much. Find ways to reduce the number of steps or the difficulty of the method. But don't just combine steps.

If your task seems too big (and some days, everything just seems impossible), break it down. You've heard that before. But I mean really break it down. Every step you complete is a great accomplishment. And every success makes you stronger for the next step. And sometimes, you won't be able to finish all the steps. That's okay. Skip the eye shadow. Put away the cold groceries and leave the rest on the counter until tomorrow. 

Write it down. It's less scary when it's not just filling up your head. Make a checklist. Make a checklist on a small white board and write with wet-erase markers for tasks you do regularly. I like to use a vertical layout planner so that I can have my appointments and my to-do lists in one place. Rather than scratching items off the list, I now mark them with a glitter highlighter. That's more fun, and it's lets me see how much I've already done. 

Give yourself credit. I know I have to pick up my son from school every day and make his lunch, but I put these on my list every day, and I highlight them. Celebrate your progress even in tasks you often do. This can only help you.