What Paralyzes Me.

This is a difficult topic. Sometimes, I feel heaviness or numbness in my limbs or whole body. Moving is nearly impossible. Josh has sometimes helped me unfold myself and get to bed.

• A sense that I have completely misjudged a person--believing him or her to be better in some way.
• A sudden change in major or important plans. Even some smaller changes (like going to a different movie) challenge me. My internal structure is so fragile, like a dollhouse made of icicles.
• Jealousy. It can freeze me.
• A phone conference (which, luckily, I don't have to do now).
• Money troubles (which can paralyze my mind if not my body).
• Fear of losing my family (my darkened mind is quick to provide scenarios).

I've been on a good mix of medications lately, and the paralysis ("the Tin Man," as I call it) has not happened for a good while. I'm grateful for that.