These words were inside a decorative box Mom gave me for Christmas. I wonder if I've ever radiated joy. Maybe during a show. Or at a concert. Definitely when I held Oliver for the first time. Maybe on certain moments of Josh and my wedding day. Giving my mom a Madame Alexander Sleeping Beauty doll. Maybe just a little in front of Valentine's Day displays.
I'm probably more likely to radiate anything when I'm manic. Everything starts boiling over. But early mania, or hypomania, flood me with awareness--heightened everything. It can be thrilling or torturous.
But when I'm well? I can smile. I can keep my head up and make eye contact. I can use the moderate light in me to write, read, love. When I do that, it is visible. It burns just enough.
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