I have been stable for about 3 months. I still have some troubles (anxiety, major short-term memory problems, occasional racing thoughts), and I don't always know the difference between symptom and side effect, which frustrates me. But I don't have soaring-then-crashing moods or deep darkness. I get confused but not as much. I'm usually able to read and write at least a little I'm well enough to reach for the people and things that make me feel like or at least imagine a whole and well version of myself.
My stepdad, Shane, visited recently and asked to watch Riverdance. It reminded me of the joy and the sense of control dance gave me. My mind slowed down and rested in contentment.
I'm also trying to learn how to give people opportunities to show me love I can feel or register. I'm trying to be kinder and more generous. I'm constantly praying, "Let me only have kind thoughts," and I have been trying to start speaking those kind thoughts.
No comments:
Post a Comment