Since before I had my diagnoses, I have felt intelligence dripping out of me. I'm simply not as smart or capable as I used to be. I'm blessed to have kept up with paperwork and appointments for Oliver. I can hardly handle anything else.
I've been taking lithium for over two years and Abilify almost as long. I have gained an astonishing amount of weight in that time. I've had to buy several articles of clothing to supplement what still fits.
I can either fight or accept these problems. I can read widely even when it's difficult. I can ask Josh to explain what's going on in the world. I can do crossword puzzles! I'm on the treadmill twice a week, and I've cut back on soda, but I can do more.
Maybe I need to have a temporary acceptance as long as I keep trying to fight. People I love still say I'm smart and beautiful, so I also just need to believe them.
Becky,
ReplyDeleteI admire your fight so much and your quest towards mindfulness. I love your blog and your facebook page. I truly think you are a remarkable young woman with remarkable people in your life. Never give up. Love, Jane, Jane Hall