I think these are probably the two basic emotions, the base on which other emotional experiences build. I probably wouldn't agree were it not for a therapist I saw years ago. I was talking about someone's anger; she said, "Anger comes from hurt. Hurt comes from fear." I've thought about her words often since then. When I feel angry, I ask myself--how am I hurt? How can I address that hurt, and will that change my anger? Then I ask--am I hurt because I'm afraid? What raw fear did this touch? How can I address this fear directly?
Unless I figure out the fear, the anger or hurt can hold me too tightly. I think my main, basic fears are
- self-contamination (substances, toxic relationships...)
- self-haram (that I may get too sick to know that it won't help)
- rejection, especially from my parents
- not being able to find my family (apocalyptic movies are too scary for me because of this)
- people's not believing me over something vital
- actually plunging into madness
Do other emotional experiences sprout from love? I can't dig into it the same way. I can see how admiration, need, desire, and hope spring from love. I guess the mission is to fight fear and its offspring and to recognize and nurture the love. That makes life seem simpler than it is. Or maybe life is simple--just not easy. I look at a situation and say, "Okay. Am I going to address this with fear or love?"
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